I am currently sitting in a coffee shop in Gaithersburg, Maryland drinking my first cappuccino of the year. It has been a while since I’ve been surrounded by regular people other than nurses, doctors, and social workers. Today, I feel like an average 28-year-old grabbing coffee in suburbia….which in a way, feels nice. I am wearing plain Jane clothes and to the naked eye, it may seem like I’ve got it under control. But — they wouldn’t know that spent the past two months crying in my room.
My grandmother is dying. I watch her little body deteriorate day after day. Sometimes I lose it and I can’t accept that she will be gone soon. Other times, I concentrate on my breathing and heartbeat, and life for a few minutes makes sense.